Men's Self-esteem

Podcasts with Big Contact

2008-03-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

MensSelfesteem.com has teamed up with Big Contact to bring you our podcasts all in one spot right on our website. Self-esteem, Confidence, Relationships, Jealousy, and More! Just go to http://www.mensselfesteem.com/selfesteempodcast.html. Check it out! Here is an example below:

Self-esteem Podcasts

2008-03-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.mensselfesteem.com/ is now offering FREE Self-esteem Podcasts.

Here is an example of one of our latest self-esteem Podcasts below:

http://www.mypodcast.com/fsaudio/mensselfesteem_20080314_2157-195049.mp3

I need professional help, but what kind?

2008-03-04T05:24:00.000-08:00

There is a huge difference in distinctions for help-professionals. The table below shows those basic difference. Most people don't know it, but 80% of them need a life coach more then anything else.

Therapy	Mentoring	Consulting	Coaching
Deals with a person's past and trauma, and seeks healing	Deals mostly with succession training and seeks to help someone to do what you do	Deals mostly with problems and seeks to provide information (expertise, strategy, methodologies) to solve problems	Deals mostly with a person's present and seeks to guide them into a more desirable future
Doctor-patient relationship (therapist has the answers)	Older/wiser-younger/less experienced relationship (mentor has the answers	Expert person with problem relationship (consultant has the answers)	Co-creative, equal partnership (coach helps clientdiscover their own answers)
Assumes many emotions are symptom of something wrong	Limited to emotional response of the mentoring parameters (succession, etc.)	Does not normally address or deal with emotions (informational only)	Assumes emotions are natural and normalizes them
The therapist diagnosis, then provides professional expertise and guidelines to give clients a path to healing	The mentor allows you to observe his/her behavior and expertise, will answer questions, and provide guidance and wisdom for the stated purpose of the mentoring	The consultant stands back, evaluates a situation, then tells you the problem and how to fix it	The coach stands with you, and helps you identify the challenges, then works with you to turn challenges into victories and hold you accountable to reach your desired goals

What Women HATE Most About Single Guys

2007-11-29T01:26:00.000-08:00

Double Your Dating
by David DeAngelo
Read it FREE For 7 Days.

If you listen
to a group of attractive, single women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the
topic will always turn to MEN.

And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard
it is to find good men to date...

Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general...

...And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING
AS HELL.

The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities,
and characteristics that they HATE in single guys.

Did you know this?

I didn't think so.

Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn't know this either.

So take heart in the idea that you're about to learn something that most men on
this planet will DIE not knowing.

My hope is that what I'm about to share with you will change how you interact
with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you're
interested in.

Onward.

FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE

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For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They
are NOT the same.

One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it happens.

Remember that.

One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.

"Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend" relationships.

While most men would sleep with most of their female "friends" if the woman "came
on" to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider "just
friends".

But why is this?

How do women differentiate between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?

And why is it so hard to become "more than friends" with a woman you've been "just
friends" with for a long time?

The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.

I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when they
want to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE

importantly, understanding how women "know" when they DON'T want to "be intimate"
with a man...

The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or
"lover" material is how she FEELS.

It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.

It is NOT logic.

She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she might USE logic to
SOUND like she has a good reason for either "being with" or

"not being with" a particular guy.

But don't let that distract you.

Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.

So let me say this another way.

A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS
as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a

particular guy.

If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably
not be that she wants to date the guy in question.

If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion
will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good "choice"
to date. At this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts...

It goes like this:

FEEL--->THINK--->ACT

First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and THEN the action.

Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an important question:

How do most guys behave around women that they're "romantically" interested in?

And another:

What do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with
them?

Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen
handy.

I'm serious. I'll wait.

Come back when you're finished.

Now take a look at your list.

I'll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something "external".

In other words, your list probably contains things like "Take her to dinner" and
"Give her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call

her often".

These are all things that demonstrate that he's INTERESTED.

They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside
of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.

In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...

...HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she'll be interested in him.

Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even
remotely similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".

Of course, you know this.

You've probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what
it's like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I'm interested...
only to have her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.

The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.

First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that
you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.

In the moment it sure seems to make sense... "If I show her how I feel, she'll
return the feelings".

Duh.

Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner
little girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her
feelings for you.

And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off
INSTANTLY that you're not hip to what's going... and it

kills your chances with her.

Say what?

You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can
actually HURT your chances with a woman?

Yea, it can.

Look, if you've been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday
comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with
her.

YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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But if you've known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you're
going to shoot yourself in the foot.

Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it,
PLUS you're trying to compensate for the fact that

you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY screwed (or not
screwed, as the case may be).

Remember what I'm about to tell you.

Burn it into your mind.

Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...

SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW
WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND

THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND
TRYING.

Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They
shake their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it... He
doesn't get it" over and over and over.

The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for
you.

The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going to need to take a
totally different road to get where you're going...

WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...

Let's return to where we started.

There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.

One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.

A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE
of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.

Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:

1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS
a guy's chances, it would be this.

It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.

Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let
YOU be the one who's in control... and let YOU call the shots... and do anything
to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and

approval".

But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness".

Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.

Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give
away his power in return for approval.

THEY HATE IT!

I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.

Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that
you make this mistake with women.

More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.

2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

When one person "clings" to another person "psychologically", the person who is
being "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy,

clingy emotional parasite...

This is WUSS behavior at its worst.

If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says "Hey, I have to
go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?".

Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking
around in a large department store.

Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.

If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY.

He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him.

And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually
ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.

"Do you think I'm interesting?"

"Do you think we could ever have a relationship?"

"Am I your type?"

Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes
them want to RUN AWAY.

3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead

Women have WUSS-DAR.

One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.

The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.

So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.

He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he
isn't getting them.

So what does he do?

He ASKS for them!

He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner...
how does that sound?".

Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm trying to figure out what
you want me to do... please help me know how you want me to act, where you want
me to take you, and what you want me to say".

This is ATTRACTION DEATH!

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men who don't lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL
OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.

They HATE IT!

4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone,
And Body Language

There's a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who
use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures,

comments, and mannerisms...

The term is "NICE".

"He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."

This is one of those areas that's not easy to talk about.

Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it's almost impossible to explain.

It's like trying to tell a fish that they're not going to get anywhere in life

if they stay wet.

The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in the first place.

But let me try.

This is important.

Go spend a day observing couples.

Go places where couples that have just met spend time together.

Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever.

Now watch the GUYS.

Watch how they lean towards the women.

Watch how they raise their eyebrows in
exaggerated response to women's comments.

Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly
at whatever the women say.

If you're close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with
a voice tone that says "I'm insecure and I'm trying

to be extra nice to compensate for it".

You'll see it EVERYWHERE.

In fact, you'll see it so much that you'll probably write me back to tell me that
I'm the one who's crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be "the right
way".

Well, it's not.

If there's one thing that triggers an attractive single woman's WUSS-DAR, it's
a man's posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc.

It all happens in an INSTANT.

Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read
and interpret the cover of Playboy.

NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.

I'd say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves
with women because of this problem.

Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they're a
WUSS.

They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they're uncomfortable
and "not being themselves".

And you guessed it...

Single women HATE IT!

5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're A Man

I'm about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool.

When it comes down to it, most men don't understand women.

But the REAL kicker is that most men don't understand MEN, either!

Most guys don't know what it's like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE.

Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger
ATTRACTION in women.

Women have a "nature". A female nature.

Men also have a "nature". You guessed it, it's a MALE nature.

Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. They like to enjoy the chase. They
love anticipation. They love to "let a guy catch them"...

Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things,
and rule their territory.

Well guess what?

Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're in the presence of a woman that they
"like".

And since most men don't understand female human nature, they don't demonstrate
that they "get it" when they're with women that they "like".

Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.

When you're around a woman you like, don't act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy,
and it's not attractive...

And single women HATE IT!

6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a "core belief" that
goes like this:

"I don't believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because
she enjoys my presence... so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things
that I hope she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those

other things enough, then maybe she'll want to spend more time with me."

Heavy, man.

Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a guy isn't interesting
to be around, they she's eventually going to go CRAZY being around him.

In other words, no amount of material gifts, compliments, dinners, and other "displays"
will EVER compensate for a lack of BEING INTERESTING.

Here's a profound thought:

I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often... just because
they enjoy being around us.

These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us... and enjoy our
company.

And yes, these women CALL US.

Often.

Material gifts, food, flowers, and other "displays" have ZERO lasting value to
a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you...

An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.

She wants mystery... she wants to laugh... she wants a challenge... she wants
sexual tension...

If you're using compliments, gifts, food, and other "displays" to get a woman's
attention... you need to ask yourself a tough question:

Is it because you don't believe that a woman would want to be around you just
to be around you?

Because if you don't know how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of
compensation is going to fix the problem.

If you're boring, predictable, and uninteresting, then you're never going to have
women calling YOU to hang out.

Oh, and women HATE IT.

7) Not Understanding Attraction

This is a BIGGIE.

You hear me talking about it all the time, right?

Maybe now that you've read this newsletter you'll have a better context to understand
what I'm about to tell you...

If you "get it" with women, it's SUPER INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.

Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're with a guy who "gets it".

Women know very quickly if they're talking to a guy who understands himself and
women... and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.

Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication".

If he doesn't, then she stops all communication on that level.

If he does, then it continues.

ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.

Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a
woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.

Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction
works... and who knows what to do in each specific

situation to progress to the next level.

The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the
things you need to DO to be successful are NOT

OBVIOUS.

They're "counter intuitive", in many cases.

In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK would make sense.

You have to do things like CREATE TENSION... stop doing something that she likes...
give her time to miss you... etc.

And if you don't understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to KNOW IT.

And guess what?

Single women HATE IT when a man doesn't understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate
on this "other level".

Now that I've shared the mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. You
need to get an education on how attraction works for women... and the RIGHT things
to do up front to give her those emotional/physical feelings inside.

Right now you're probably feeling that excited "Ah Ha!" feeling.

That's because you understand something at a different level... you've used your
mind to understand something complex... and you feel good about bettering yourself.

Well this is just the TIP of the iceberg.

As educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.

If you're starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life
handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD
CLASS level.

And what's the best way to do that?

Well, I've spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does
and doesn't work with women.

I figured this stuff out for MYSELF... and then I took what I've learned and put
it all together to help others learn as well.

My Double Your Dating eBook represents THOUSANDS of hours of research, testing,
getting to know guys who were successful with women, and generally organizing
every level of this knowledge into an easy-to-understand system that ANY guy can
use to increase his success with women and dating.

And I'll tell you something...

It works.

This eBook is the most advanced and effective program of it's kind available anywhere
at ANY price.

And I have an offer that you're not likely to find repeated anywhere else...

I'll send it to you at MY RISK.

You can try it out for a full 7 days, and if you don't see MASSIVE results, just
let me know... and pay nothing.

That's right, you can try it FREE for

7 days.

On top of all that, I'd like to invite you to sign up for my free, 3-times-weekly
dating tips newsletter.

There's no obligation,
and you can easily remove yourself anytime. And believe me, I hate spam as much
as you do. You don't have to worry about me ever sharing your email address with
anyone.

Go here to download
my eBook and to sign up:

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Double Your Dating
by David DeAngelo
Read it FREE For 7 Days.

Full Speed Ahead!

2007-11-23T15:45:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like "Full Speed Ahead" for MensSelfesteem.com! The website is fully operational and up and running as expected, with nothing in it's way, but the google sandbox. We will be put into the category of most new website for about 6 months, and will get little traffic from the google search engine. We will have a rank that is low and will place farther down in the search results than we deserve, by far. So we will take this time to add more pages and gather more information for some great content and aticles for you. There is plenty to do, so stay tuned for more updates and as usual, you can help! Talk to you soon!

Its been over a week!

2007-10-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

Its been just over a week since the last blog and boy has the site grown! Yep, I've been busy building and building and building. Not only is the site coming along just fine, but so is my own self-esteem! Building a site this size is a huge undertaking for one person. I'm feeling better about things every time I add a new section to the site.
I still need your help though. I have added a section called "MY SELF-ESTEEM". You can help thousands of men by sending in a "My Self-esteem" story. If you have a personal story about your own self-esteem, please send it in. The articles sections for Self-esteem, Relationships and Jealousy have been built. I just have to write the articles now. If you want to help, please send in what you have and I'll take a look. Please make it original content. Yep, I'll post your articles right on the site for the whole world to read.
The Self-esteem Test for Men is also completed. You have got to do it. You will be amazed at how accurate it is!
That's all for now.

Welcome to MensSelfesteem.com Blog

2007-10-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

Welcome, This is our first blog! The website is still a work in progress and should be semi-complete November 1, 2007. The website www.MensSelfesteem.com will be packed with self-esteem information for men and teen boys. We are even taking in real stories from real men about thier self-esteem issues and how they effect thier lives. If you have a few minutes, take a look at the site and give some feedback. Help us build a healthy state of mind for men and teen boys. It would be greatly appreciated.